Gain Weight Eat Caviar

My husband’s Russian coach says, “Eat one tablespoon of black caviar

once a day for a week. The second week eat two tablespoons a day.

The third week eat three tablespoons a day. That will do it.”

Anyone know where to buy caviar wholesale ???

My family has some suggestions for gaining weight.


Taste buds where are you?

Editing Drawings for a Show

After speading out on the floor,  400 plus drawings,  I’ve edited them down  to about 50.  Definitely, I see stages of drawing during the 80 days of radiation.  This image of an orchid sketched  in the middle of the night shows one of the most recent pieces 12″ x 16″ on paper, pastel and india ink.

This little blue flower was done on the first day of 80 Drawings in 80 Days.

9″x12″ on paper. Sennelier oil pastel and graphite.

Then there are all the drawings in between.



    undone – definition of undone by the Free Online Dictionary 

    Adj. 1. undone – not done; “the work could be done or undone and nobody cared”. unfinished – not brought to an end or conclusion; “unfinished business”; “the 

    I keep losing weight. I have a string of pearls, bumps  down from my ear around my neck and up to the other ear – a string of pearls under the skin. I’m going in to have a biopsy performed on my neck today. It’s probably just scar tissue from the incisions from the surgery. But all the frightening emotions come back. No matter what the outcome, I guess  (I still say guess) I am a cancer survivor and will live sometimes forgetting about my cancer  but, then, the wondering will keep popping back up in my life. Right now I am absolutely  sure all the cancer is gone and it won’t come back, I think.

    I wrote this piece at the beginning of the week. I had drawn the roll of twine in the morning before the doctor called to ask me to come in and get a biopsy done.  I was sitting there thinking I sketched a roll of  twine this morning, now she is using thread and needle on my neck.

    The good news is biopsy report records no cancer. Hooray. It sort of took me back for a couple of days.

History of my cancer – some numbers

In the year 2009 I started having sore throats that would come and then go away.

January 2010 I started taking Prilosec for Gerd after complaining about a sore throat.

January 2011 I started a journal of symptoms – tingly hands and feet, mouth numb, double vision, sore throat.

January 22 2011 Seattle Hospital found swollen lymph glands.

April 7 2011  I was diagnosed with tongue and neck cancer.

May 23 2011 I traveled to Mayo Clinic Rochester Minnesota .

May 24 2011 a cancer tumor under my tongue was removed.

70 lymph nodes were removed.

June 29 2011 seven weeks of radiation began.

Four months I ate no solid food.

I’ve lost 30 pounds. Clothes look great on me.

80 drawings in 80 days kept me on track with myself.

It’s the end of September and I have turned the corner.

Yesterday I went to a resturant and ate solid food.

I can eat, taste, talk and execute my Pilates routine.

Art heals.

What is Redder than Red?

The color red isn’t hot enough. Red doesn’t burn enough. Red doesn’t scream enough. Purple?  No, it is just a darker color. Add green as the complimentary color? nope – looks like Christmas. Maybe cobalt blue. When I was making sculpture with my acetylene torch I adjusted the cone of the flame to control the heat. The tip of the gas flame. Is it cool there? Or is that the hottest point?

Painting Muse Helps Me Through Cancer Treatments


My early morning muse helps me through radiation treatments

Her will

Her strength

Each morning she conquers the effects of my radiation treatments

My early morning muse brings me peace

First, I must coat my throat with spoonfuls of thick, thin cream of rice cereal.

I gulp down 10ml. of oxychodone,

quickly followed by more cream of rice

or rinse with a solution of baking soda and salt, whichever I think is “right” today.

While I wait for the medication to take effect I draw.

I take out my Sennelier oil pastels, my paper,  pastels, brush , watercolor crayons, pencils, india ink and a drawing stick.

I count how many pieces of paper I have left.

And most important I start to make a picture, the  idea coming from a thought  I had in bed before trying out my first swallow.

Painting Cancer – Thinking About Chickens

So do I lay here in bed like a chicken or am I lying down like a person?  My mom always corrected my grammar. Does she know about my cancer? It’s 4 am. My throat is sore. If I get up I get nauseated.  Do I use the neti pot first to get rid of the mucus so I don’t vomit the hell out of me or do to I take oxycodone on an empty stomach or take it with that rice pudding that comes from Mexico. Probably will still get sick.  Next, diversion. Paint. I wet the paper, get out the pastels, india ink and  oil pastels and I paint – forget about my throat for awhile

How Does a Painting Happen?

Thick pads of transparent blueish mucus settle at the base of my tongue. I am continually expelling it from my body.

It’s three o’clock in the morning.

Time for distraction.

Time to paint.

No flowers around this morning to act as a base for a painting.

I remember my mother’s Chinese snuff bottles.

Among her collection of small objects,  I remember a transparent blue Chinese snuff bottle.

The painting process has started.


The painting tells me what to do.

I’m a fan of two new blogs. Check them out.

The Not so Pretty Paintings

Dry Tongue

Burned Clavicle

Halfway through radiation therapy my drawings changed., just like that! One day it’s pretty peonies. The next day it’s morning pain. So, you are supposed to feel the subject matter. I feel the subject matter. Draw from the heart, not the habit. I did that. too. Got 9 days to go. And about 50 drawings that could turn into paintings if I want to go that route.

Painting the Cancer Out of Me

Thirty two days into radiation – I didn’t want my art to turn into cancer paintings. I wanted to focus on beauty, not cancer ; pair the bad with the good. It didn’t work out that way. In the middle of the night the cancer drawings appeared. The abstract side of my art came out.   This one is titled, “Out of Agony Comes Beauty.” I have a new post about once a week. Why don’t you follow my progress by subscribing to my blog? See if I can make it all the way through.