What is Redder than Red?

The color red isn’t hot enough. Red doesn’t burn enough. Red doesn’t scream enough. Purple?  No, it is just a darker color. Add green as the complimentary color? nope – looks like Christmas. Maybe cobalt blue. When I was making sculpture with my acetylene torch I adjusted the cone of the flame to control the heat. The tip of the gas flame. Is it cool there? Or is that the hottest point?

Painting Cancer – Thinking About Chickens

So do I lay here in bed like a chicken or am I lying down like a person?  My mom always corrected my grammar. Does she know about my cancer? It’s 4 am. My throat is sore. If I get up I get nauseated.  Do I use the neti pot first to get rid of the mucus so I don’t vomit the hell out of me or do to I take oxycodone on an empty stomach or take it with that rice pudding that comes from Mexico. Probably will still get sick.  Next, diversion. Paint. I wet the paper, get out the pastels, india ink and  oil pastels and I paint – forget about my throat for awhile

How Does a Painting Happen?

Thick pads of transparent blueish mucus settle at the base of my tongue. I am continually expelling it from my body.

It’s three o’clock in the morning.

Time for distraction.

Time to paint.

No flowers around this morning to act as a base for a painting.

I remember my mother’s Chinese snuff bottles.

Among her collection of small objects,  I remember a transparent blue Chinese snuff bottle.

The painting process has started.


The painting tells me what to do.

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The Not so Pretty Paintings

Dry Tongue

Burned Clavicle

Halfway through radiation therapy my drawings changed., just like that! One day it’s pretty peonies. The next day it’s morning pain. So, you are supposed to feel the subject matter. I feel the subject matter. Draw from the heart, not the habit. I did that. too. Got 9 days to go. And about 50 drawings that could turn into paintings if I want to go that route.